In the BUGghetto

Lady Bird Johnson Wildflower Center, Austin TX ©2011Coffee&Cotton

I am a fairly new resident of Texas…ok almost 5 years but I’m still adapting. It’s BIG. It’s hot. The area I live in is gorgeous with all its greenbelts and hills and rivers and wildflowers.

Greenbelt, Austin TX photo

I just moved into a house that sits next to a creek that is dry except when it rains. We have not had rain in a L-O-N-G time. So you would think the plague that has come upon me and my home would not be, unless it rained. What plague you ask?? PESTILENCE!! Enough to make Pharaoh let GO real fast! Creatures in minimal lengths of 4 inches…maybe 40 inches! Now I hear you saying, “Robyn, what the hell are you talking about and are you embellishing again??” Glad you asked. Let me ‘splain it to you…you might want a beverage and a cozy chair…and uh! ME? Embellish?? Not this time.

This is the story of Big Bubba Roach
He was one on my bedroom wall the other night. I swear that sucker was between 4 and 5 inches!!! I think he was wearing a saddle as he was big enough to ride. I eyed him moseying along at the top of the wall across from me. I get up to grab a shoe KNOWING he is eyeing me back. He scurries. I scream. He runs some more. I scream. The Corgis bark…but Little Bear runs in to help. I guess he’s the Pit Corgi…I throw my shoe at the wall… Big Bubba Roach stares me down and jumps at me and then… he flies… F-L-Y freekin’ flies!!! They have wings…probably propeller blades. I heard them. … I scream, trip over Little Bear and jump onto my bed. Bubba disappears. Roachageddon time calms down and I convince myself he will not crawl across my face during the night. Unit #9 and his friend (a big sister type friend) come home. I tell them about Bubba but figure he is gone. 20 mins later I hear stomping…ok, I exaggerate…but Bubba Roach R E T U R N S!! I call for Unit #9 and he and big-sister-type come in my room. The 3 of us swarm in on Bubba…that sucker jumped up higher on the wall. I get a spray bottle of something. big-sister-type sprays and he tumbles towards her, landing on the floor behind my dresser. She looks underneath and he is looking back. She screamed a few times but moves forward, a mission before her. During this time Unit #9 went to get some paper towels ( what a guy ). big-sister-type smashed Bubba 5 times before he croaked. big-sister-type is not a girly-girl but even she screeched a bit! Unit #9 the Valiant was there to hand her a paper towel. By now it was 11:30 and I was wide awake. I earned that glass of wine I poured!
I can handle mice, snakes, banana slugs, gory things…but spiders and roaches and wasps…uh way. Bubba Roach better not have any friends or I just may have to get a shotgun.
Bubba’s ancestry is Texas Tree Roach…some call them Palmetto bugs. TX friends assure me they come in from outside to die… WTH?!! They want me to notify their next of bug-kin or something?

They’re big I tell ya! I can handle mice, snakes, banana slugs, gory things…but spiders and roaches and wasps…uh way. Bubba Roach better not have any friends or I just may have to get a shotgun.

Texas Bigass Tree Roach


8 thoughts on “In the BUGghetto

  1. avatarKarin

    I had NO IDEA you lived so close! Hahaaha – anything in Texas is a day’s ride (or more) away!! We’ve just moved to Victoria, a bit north of Corpus, but we came from Florida, by way of the Valley & Branson (we were full-time RV’ers) so we are very familiar with Palmetto Bugs. You are not lyin!! They are like mini-helicopters and it’ll take a comet to wipe ’em out. I think they’re related to alligators & dinosaurs, myself!!

    I understand there are other creepy-crawlies around here, too, so beware!!! Keep a rolled up magazine handy – you’re gonna need it!
    Karin recently posted..Custom Quilted Kitchen Appliance CoverMy Profile

  2. avatarDeborah Hays

    That has got to be the most disgusting thing ever!! I’m with you… I can handle a lot and have killed my share of rattlesnakes for that matter, but no thanks on the roaches. I hope those big ones stay in Texas! sorry….. 😉
    Deborah Hays recently posted..Third May BirthdayMy Profile

  3. avatarLaura

    Robyn…what’s really scary is the tree roaches that FLY! Yes!!! I come from Houston and down there, they are BIG, BLACK and they FLY when you spray them!!! Ewwwww! They perch on top of your kitchen cabinets in the early morning hours and when you open the cabinet door to retrieve a coffee cup, they fall down at your feet! Gross! I recommend having your yard and home professionally treated on a regular basis!

  4. avatarJaime

    Ugh! I JUST had this happen to me and unfortunately sine I’ve moved to Tx, it happens once maybe twice a yr! I’m looking up info (like I do every year) on prevention!

  5. Pingback: Crawly critters « plumdirt

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